Saturday, September 29, 2012

The Comparison Trap

Today’s post is about the dangers of comparing yourself to others.  Your on a dangerous path once you begin comparing your life to another's in any area.

For years I had a bad case of keeping up with the jonesitis.  I felt I lived in this community with big beautiful homes yet hated my home.  Yearning for something else I could not see nor receive my own blessings.  Here’s a post about it.  Anyways I say all that to say I wasted about five years hating my home and stirring up so much negative energy.  I didn’t do many projects in my home because I was planning and preparing for the next home.  In other words I wasn’t living in the present, enjoying my now.  Thankfully, I had a God smack and was able to move past that state of mind and boy am I grateful.

However, if I am not careful I can see the seeds of discontentedness and comparing sprouting in other areas of my life.  One area is home education boy oh boy is this a hard one.   As a writer of a blog, I put myself out there.   Reading  other blogs and speaking with other hs moms is a blessing and a curse.  Sometimes I find myself thinking, wishing and hoping to be something other than what I am. Or comparing my children to the hs family down the block.  Whatever! It’s hopeless and a waste of time really.  Instead of being the best me why do I want to copy someone else.  The honest answer is I don’t know.  Perhaps the root is something deeper that I have not tapped into.  Maybe, somewhere deep down I don’t feel worthy, or maybe I’m little insecure of myself and my abilities.

You may be wondering, why are you sharing all of this Tiffany.  Well I’m sharing because this is a means of getting what I want.  I am sending out a wish into the universe.  My intention is to be my authentic self and be happy, secure and content.  I want to be the best me I can be and not worry about Sally Joe down the road and what she is doing with her kids.  More importantly, I no longer what to measure our education experience by some other persons standards and what works for their family.  Key word is their.  God placed me in my family because my gifts and talents even my shortcomings are precisely what this family needs.  If God wanted me in some other family doing x, y, z then that’s where I would be. However, I’m here; valuable, worthy and capable for job set before me.

So, here’s to Tiffany, wife to one, mother of three, with all my quirks, strengths and weaknesses giving all of me to those I love.  Praying for God to direct my path and fill in any gaps.  Praying that all I have will be enough. No longer comparing myself to anyone instead relying on the source of my strength and staying in my own lane. (For the purposes of this post staying in my own classroom.)
Can anyone else relate?


  1. I can relate, Tiffany. I always have to remind myself to swim in my own lane. I love to read blogs, but it is so darn easy to "go there" and start thinking I am not doing the right things, or not enough. Whenever I start to think I am superchristianhomeschoolmom I need to do a reality check!

    Great post, thanks for sharing.

  2. Thanks Mary, it is so easy to go down that road even when you do want to.

  3. It's a hard battle, Tiffany. Just remember that the reason to keep up with other homeschoolers is to gain information and have relationships. Not for instructions or approval.

    Just do you.

  4. Every now and then I need a reminder Ahermitt.

  5. For the longest I took upon the childhood wishes that my mom had for myself (she wanted me to be a lawyer). The son of her favorite sister is an attorney. Sigh.

    And the day and moment arrived where I realized that was no way to live - living for someone other than myself. She had good intentions, of course. But there is something divine and spiritual about accepting who I am as a person and knowing in my heart that I am who I'm meant to be.

    Good or bad. Lol.

    I never believed that a "career" defined me as a person anyway.

    Being yourself just might be the key to Life.

  6. Amen! Great post. This is exactly why I took a break from blogging. Life was becoming about doing things just so I could write about them. I felt I had to live up to some image. Thanks again for this post and for the welcome back to blogland!


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